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Want to Experience Zero G? Stay in Bed

Posted by CmdrTaco on Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:24 AM
from the done-and-done dept.
Space Science
mrogers writes "New Scientist Space is reporting that the health effects of microgravity can be reproduced by staying in bed. Inclining the bed at an angle of 6 degrees with the head at the lower end produces bone and muscle loss, decreases in cardiovascular activity, and reduced capacity to exercise similar to those produced by prolonged spaceflight. (Valeri Polyakov was not available for comment at the time of going to press.)"
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  • Proper Analogy? (Score:5, Funny)

    by JDSalinger (911918) * on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:25AM (#15017785)
    Is this like analogizing dreaming to taking hallucinogens?
    If so, this is like telling Slashdotters "Want to Experience Sex? Stay in Bed and touch yourself."
    Obviously, an insufficient "Experience". I suspect the same of the Stay in Bed "Experience". Someone try this and get back to us.
    -C

    • NASA Study (Score:2)

      by ghoul (157158)
      This is not so ridiculous as it sounds. NASA is actually starting a study soon to see the effects of staying in bed . As part of this study partcipants will have to stay in bed for 90 days including using bedpans to do your stuff. They will not be allowed

      • "bed rest" = pain (Score:3, Interesting)

        by urbazewski (554143)
        The similarity of the two groups' results confirms the decades-long practice of using inclined bedrest as a proxy for spaceflight.

        Actually, NASA has been doing "bed-rest studies" on the effectiveness of various exercise regimes for some time now: I remem

      • This is interesting because this is what patients with chronic fatigue/ ME / neurasthenia etc do (or rather don't do)

        They stay in bed and their muscles and bones fall to bits, and surprise surprise, when they try to walk again it is painful and difficult.

        I

  • or, the results of... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by yagu (721525) * <yayaguNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:25AM (#15017786) Journal

    Not to nitpick here, but isn't experiencing Zero Gs quite a different beast than experiencing the effects of Zero Gs (based on the article's somewhat misleading title)?

    I'm pretty sure one of the effects of experiencing true Zero Gs does not include bed sores!

    And, is anyone else sick of the un-"stoppable" macromedia flash ads that suck up cpu and battery life? I see one now on /. from Neumont University... and it's using 50% of my 1.6GHz cpu, and I can't turn it off.... Fuck Neumont! Fuck Flash ads!

    • Re:or, the results of... (Score:2, Informative)

      by grasshoppa (657393)
      Get firefox. Then get this: https://addons.mozilla.org/extensions/moreinfo.ph p ?id=433&application=firefox [mozilla.org]

      Problem solved.

    • Re:or, the results of... (Score:5, Insightful)

      by MustardMan (52102) on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:30AM (#15017837)
      First - I'm pretty sure the article title was meant to be tongue in cheek

      Second - try firefox with the adblock plugin - it's pretty easy to eliminate flash ads if you put just a TINY bit of effort into it instead of bitching about it on slashdot.
      [ Parent ]

      • Second - try firefox with the adblock plugin - it's pretty easy to eliminate flash ads if you put just a TINY bit of effort into it instead of bitching about it on slashdot

        But, I don't mind ads... and sometimtes, I don't even mind flash ads... Sometimes t

        • Try the Flashblock plugin that someone else mentioned up there. The newer versions include a toolbar button that can toggle flash on/off for a page. Very handy for those product pages that contain five or six flash files. Go to a page, see nothing but boxe
        • Adblock lets you selectively filter - nothing is filtered by default, but a specific annoying element can be removed. Technically it can filter anything, not just ads, so you can get rid of annoying music or animated gifs on websites too.
          • And Adblock Plus lets you whitelist sites you want to support. Or you could opt to only block the particularly time-sucking ads such as the one mentioned.

      • I hear what you're saying about the adblocking, but for me it's the general principle that an advertiser, not content with taking up your desktop space with their ads, also feels entitled to use as much of your CPU and RAM as they see fit. Sure I can bloc

    • And, is anyone else sick of the un-"stoppable" macromedia flash ads that suck up cpu and battery life? . . . Fuck Neumont! Fuck Flash ads!

      I'm sick of Flash ads and Flash usage in general. I don't have Flash installed and I don't care to have Flash ins

        • A monochrome terminal screen with a blanking cursor is truly a wonderful thing. Any correctly-written website (and even some badly-written ones) will look just fine in lynx, which allows full screen text viewing without obnoxious font changes and distract

    • And, is anyone else sick of the un-"stoppable" macromedia flash ads that suck up cpu and battery life? I see one now on /. from Neumont University... and it's using 50% of my 1.6GHz cpu, and I can't turn it off.... Fuck Neumont! Fuck Flash ads!

      You're no

  • Another option (Score:3, Funny)

    by Mattygfunk1 (596840) * on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:26AM (#15017792) Homepage
    Want to Experience Zero G? Stay in Bed

    Yeah maybe, but I suspect most of us would be far better served by experiencing improved health at our local sports club, and the social benefits are much better too.

    • My health has improved drastically since last summer (lost almost 50 pounds, have gone from being a couch potato to doing regular exercise, had to buy an entirely new wardrobe and am about to do it again). It's terrifying. I'm going straight home, elevat

  • Hmmm sounds like an excuse to me (Score:5, Funny)

    by liliafan (454080) * on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:27AM (#15017804) Homepage
    Sounds to me like some scientist didn't feel like going into work one day and called in with "Hi boss I can't come in today I am researching the effects of staying in bed and comparing them to the effects of zero gravity", finally someone actually came up with a way to get a grant to just stay in bed......lucky bastard.

    *disclaimer: I read the article this is a joke.

  • Amazing! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:28AM (#15017817)
    I tried this out a while ago. The results were truly amazing. I found that I was no longer required to obey the laws of gravity. I simply floated wherever I wanted to go.
    • Just don't look down! As soon as you do, you'll crash to earth!

      Umm... yeah, I learned about physics from road runner cartoons.... why?

      [badum-ching]

  • The obvious question (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Oooskar (806935) on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:30AM (#15017831)
    Will you experience an increase in bone and muscle mass if you sleep with your head at the higher end?
    • Probably explains why the Minbari in Babylon 5 were so much stronger, their beds were slanted with their head higher than their feet. Their explanation was that only the dead lie flat, but perhaps they were simply misleading the humans?

      • Probably explains why the Minbari in Babylon 5 were so much stronger, their beds were slanted with their head higher than their feet. Their explanation was that only the dead lie flat, but perhaps they were simply misleading the humans?
        Really? I though
    • Beijing 2008 here I come!
    • Will you experience an increase in bone and muscle mass if you sleep with your head at the higher end?

      I know it makes my bone massive.
      • I don't know about that - just because a thing causes your body harm, doesn't mean doing the opposite will do it good. Extremely cold temperatures cause you to become weak, but this doesn't mean that extremely high temperatures will make you strong.
      • Worst nights' sleep I've ever gotten, I constantly felt like I was falling

        Wait, isn't that zero-G?
      • Silly! The only conclusion you can draw is that if you didn't experience the bone loss and muscle atrophy, then you didn't sleep with your head at the ass-end of the bed.

        I see your logic and raise you reading comprehension. The grandparent asked:

        Will y

  • Define 'available'. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Black Parrot (19622) on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:31AM (#15017838)
    > Valeri Polyakov was not available for comment at the time of going to press.

    Actually he was available, but too weak to type a reply to the questions...

  • As a student... (Score:2, Funny)

    by DarthChris (960471)
    This is MY kind of science!

  • Want to Experience Zero G? Stay in Bed and... (Score:3, Funny)

    by digitaldc (879047) * on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:42AM (#15017932)
    Dream on, buddy!

  • Even better idea! (Score:5, Funny)

    by physicsphairy (720718) on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:43AM (#15017938) Homepage
    Swallow a timed explosive charge, and then with the proper inclination of sleep you can experience all the effects of being in a zero-G and zero-pressure spacelike environment!

    Who's got my grant money?

  • spent a few weeks in a hospital bed, and something makes me think spaceflight would cause less bedsores.

  • The same effect can be had... (Score:3, Funny)

    by Billosaur (927319) * <wgrother@@@optonline...net> on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:48AM (#15017963) Journal
    Inclining the bed at an angle of 6 degrees with the head at the lower end produces bone and muscle loss, decreases in cardiovascular activity, and reduced capacity to exercise similar to those produced by prolonged spaceflight.

    Similar results can be obtained by sitting in front of your computer and playing World of Warcraft every day for 16 hours. Remember, your results may vary.

  • Or alternately... (Score:4, Funny)

    by GillBates0 (664202) on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:48AM (#15017966) Homepage Journal
    produces bone and muscle loss, decreases in cardiovascular activity, and reduced capacity to exercise similar to those produced by prolonged spaceflight

    ...we could continue our couch potato lifestyles and daily beer drinking rituals to achieve the same effect.

    "No, honey, I'm not being lazy, I'm just trying to experience the effects of microgravity".

  • Groan. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Rob T Firefly (844560) on Wednesday March 29 2006, @10:48AM (#15017967) Homepage Journal
    Want to Experience Zero G? Stay in Bed

    I just want to stay in bed, isn't that enough? Keep your science out of my laziness.
  • zero-g sex?
  • That means I can get buff by tilting the foot of the bed 6 degrees down!!!! This is going to be awesome!!! No more splindly arms and legs. I'm going to get built just by laying around in bed all day drinking protein shakes.

  • Space trip for masochists? (Score:3, Informative)

    by Opportunist (166417) on Wednesday March 29 2006, @11:12AM (#15018184)
    Why the hell would someone want to have the unwanted side effects of microgravity without the cool features? It's like selling drugs that get you addicted, give you withdrawal but no high.

    But I guess the real meaning of the info is in its reversed reading. We know what microgravity does to long time astronauts. So don't stay in bed for too long periods unless you want to suffer the same way they do when they return to 1.0g areas.
  • My friend once broke my bed frame, and I had to sleep like this for about a week until I got a new one. Not fun. Not only do your legs feel extremely weak in the morning, its also an extremely restless sleep.
      • The angle of the bed was slightly more than 6 degrees. When the bulk of your body is up top, you tend to end up crumpled down at the bottom of the bed after a few minutes of sleep. I prefer to have weak feeling legs over kinks in my neck, back, arms, and l

  • I just tried this... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday March 29 2006, @11:22AM (#15018284)
    I tilted my bed 6 degrees, but now I keep rolling out. I experience zero-g for a few microseconds before hitting the floor.

    Maybe I need to tilt it the other direction. At least that way my wife will cushion the fall.

  • Crafty (Score:2)

    by Doc Ruby (173196)
    Does that mean that spending 1/3 of my life in bed, but with my head angled 6 deg up, on a pillow, can prevent "bone and muscle loss, decreases in cardiovascular activity, and reduced capacity to exercise"?

  • I did this (Score:3, Interesting)

    by verloren (523497) on Wednesday March 29 2006, @11:40AM (#15018466)
    Not voluntarily though - as a child I was diagnosed with Perthes disease [wikipedia.org] and hospitalized for a year in an inclined bed - I think the incline was to help the effects of the traction that was also applied. This was done for a year, the last few weeks of which were learning to walk again. The amount of muscle wastage was quite amazing; I was unable to stand at first, partly because I wasn't used to balancing, but mainly because I just couldn't exert that much force. I was lucky though - I went in again for a month a few years later, and one lad had been in for almost 2 years with no end in sight. A shame that recent thinking suggests it doesn't actually help. I guess this doesn't quite qualify me as an astronaut though?

    • Re:Figures (Score:2)

      by Nohea (142708)
      You can't give up, you have to excersise. The body was not meant to stay in a fixed position all the time - i know from experience.

      I got RSI / tendinits relapse from typing in the wrong position, which i recovered over a year by changing typing position an
    • Go to a drug and/or medical supply store. They should have some leg cuffs that use air to expand and contract around your legs. It helps promote blood flow in your legs and also breaks up clots. I've seen them in use at hospitals for patients who are in be
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