Researchers Test Whether Sharks Enjoy Christmas Songs

Scientists plan to test whether sharks enjoy listening to Christmas pop songs, after US research showed fish could recognize melody. Chris Brown, senior marine biologist at the Loch Lomond aquarium, said seasonal music would be played through walkthrough underwater tunnels where they can be heard by dozens of nurse sharks, black-tip reef sharks, and ray species. Experts will then monitor the sharks' reactions to different songs. We'll play everything from Kim Wilde and Mel Smith's Rocking Around the Christmas Tree and Merry Christmas Everybody by Slade to Wham's Last Christmas. We may find they prefer something softer like White Christmas by Bing Crosby," Brown said. Thank you for answering this question science.

More appropriate would be

[DeadPixels (1391907)]

A "Great" White Christmas.

Re:

[by Anonymous Coward]

Famous holiday shark films.

Grandma Got Ate By a Great White.

Silent Bite.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reef Shark.

Santa Claus VS the Great White.

It's a Wonderful Lifeboat, The Story of the Indianapolis.

A Christmas Gory.

Re:

[thatshortkid (808634)]

you skated just under the line with that one. only a thin ray of daylight as the margin.

Re:

[conlaw (983784)]

Whatever it's called, it should be top contender for a Golden Fleece Award. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Fleece_Award [wikipedia.org]

Watch out!

[zobier (585066)]

Don't let them get a hold of any lasers, that could be a bad combination.

Re:Watch out!

[tirefire (724526)]

Are you kidding? There would be killer light shows.

Re:

[nog_lorp (896553)]

Oh no, someone shined a red laser on it! Someone get Samuel L. Jackson to a bunker!

Re:

[rts008 (812749)]

I'll be happy with your solution, as long as no snakes are involved.

*I HATE M'f'ing snakes on a plain, or a plane!*

Re:

[MindKata (957167)]

"They would look just like Rudolf the laser mounted reindeer"

Only if Rudolf was eaten by sharks and Santa then had to water ski behind them.

Suicide rate skyrockets

[Umuri (897961)]

as the sharks bludgeon themselves on the sides of the tunnel, being unable to plug their ears as scientists incessently torture them with 90s remakes that completely lack christmas spirit.

Re:Suicide rate skyrockets

[Hal_Porter (817932)]

From the movies I've seen, I'm sure the sharks will have their revenge on the scientists sooner or later.

Re:

[snspdaarf (1314399)]

Didn't we try this in Panama?

Best Guess...

[maz2331 (1104901)]

The best guess I have is that they probably won't care about it at best, or they will just be somewhat annoyed by the noise.

Now, if it were something like Two-Fin Shakur or even Mariah Carp we might get a scientifically valid result.

Re:

[shawb (16347)]

It's obvious that sharks would be into cock rock [wikipedia.org].

Umm....

[by Anonymous Coward]

Who the hell is funding this?

That was my first thought too.

[Belial6 (794905)]

You know, that was my first reaction also, but it might not be as dumb as it sounds. The summery says that someone showed fish recognizing melody. That is interesting. Not as interesting as a super massive black hole in the center of our galaxy, but interesting none the less. Now, consider the kind of funding that would be needed to do this study. They are not going out catching sharks and building huge aquariums with specialized facilities to do this study. They are piping Christmas music through exi

Good Work Guys!

[by Anonymous Coward]

who says our tax dollars aren't being put to good use?

Re:

[adnonsense (826530)]

Hey, that would be our tax *pounds*, thankyou very much!

Re:

[andrewd18 (989408)]

I actually gained pounds this year. Clearly I'm not being taxed high enough.

Re:

[CmdrGravy (645153)]

There are usually a lot of a Americans waddling about Scotland but didn't realise they were all there just to fund this research.

Re:Good Work Guys!

[Orange Crush (934731)]

Yeah, this is an aquarium doing a little "research" for minimal cost to entertain visitors because "the sharks are listening to Christmas music too! That one over there, she really likes 'White Christmas!'" etc.

This is kindof like if Seaworld were conducting "research" to determine Shamu's favorite song. It isn't necessarily advancing science, it's to amuse their guests.

Effect on humans

[clarkkent09 (1104833)]

More interesting question would be the effect of Christmas songs on humans. More specifically, whether the endless playing of them in every store starting from at least a month before Christmas causes people to buy more crap. You'd think it would cause the stores must have researched that kind of stuff, but then every person I know regards them as an annoyance. Personally, I would go out of my way to shop at a store that doesn't play them if I could only find one.

Re:

[jassa (1092003)]

It almost drove me insane when I was doing produce nightfill work at a local supermarket. Even though the store was closed to customers overnight, the managers would leave it running around the clock.

My MP3 player saved my sanity that year.

Re:

[tompaulco (629533)]

I would imagine that the sharks, like me, will go out of their way to avoid the Christmas music. There is one station where I live that switches to 24/7 Christmas music starting before Thanksgiving. I can't listen to it for a full 6 weeks.
Of course, I will also avoid Christmas parties with anyone but friends and family, and yes we have the token mid 40's slightly frumpy woman at work who likes to put up all kinds of decorations and try to get us to play "Dirty Santa".
Fortunately, our Christmas party was o

I would like to see...

[Skiron (735617)]

...what happens if they pipe the 'Jaws' movie theme music - see if they all shit themselves and get out of the water real fast.

Yep...

[thewaker (1249320)]

I think we're gonna need a bigger grant...

Very evil.

[BigDXLT (1218924)]

Sharks with frickin' christmas tunes stuck in their heads...?

Re:

[Ceriel Nosforit (682174)]

They are very, very ill-tempered.

What happened to Idle?

[wvmarle (1070040)]

Half year or so the new idle was introduced - fine with me. Some stupid stories to waste time, nicely grouped together.

Then a few months ago now and then idle stories started making the front page. Acceptable, easy to filter using preferences.

But nowadays I see two, three of these idle type stories hit the front page every day! Now this stupid shark thing, masking as a science story. Appropriately tagged 'idle' already.

Please editors: keep idle type stories in the idle section, not in other sections, so we can filter them out if we like. And only real science stories in the science section. It's what those sections are made for, right?

Re:

[AmberBlackCat (829689)]

Is there a way to filter the RSS feed? The subdomain is always "rss". I'd like to be able to filter the subdomains "idle" and "books". And other things besides subdomains if possible.

Re:

[Elrond, Duke of URL (2657)]

Oh, good God yes. When one out of twenty stories is of the Idle variety, a story which must either be clicked on to view or briefly skipped over on the index, then Slashdot is truly ruined. What person would want this monster now?

Really now, I just can't understand all the vitriol spewed over Idle. I honestly have found just a small amount of it musing, but its overall impact on Slashdot as a whole is minuscule. If you hate it so much, just ignore the damn thing! Or, stop being an AC and then you can f

Laser Sharks

[aetherworld (970863)]

test whether sharks enjoy listening to Christmas pop songs

No. They don't.

They enjoy lasers as christmas presents though...

Ignobel

[Hieronymus Howard (215725)]

I reckon that they're trying for an Ig Nobel prize
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ig_Nobel_Prize

Where is PETA?

[Atrox666 (957601)]

If this isn't cruel animal testing I don't know what is.

Re:

[AmberBlackCat (829689)]

What would really be cruel is making them listen to every iTunes free song of the week.

I hope they'll try one Christmas classic...

[jejones (115979)]

Surely sharks will like "Santa Jaws" [blogspot.com]. (mp3 here [hipchristmas.com]).

next test:

[Jeek Elemental (976426)]

do sharks enjoy researchers?

Torturing humans, ok but torturing sharks?

[xophos (517934)]

The evil in the USA knows no bounds.

Re:

[Canazza (1428553)]

"The songs and other festive hits will be played to the sharks and rays at Loch Lomond Sea Life Centre in Balloch, Dunbartonshire"

Loch Lomond is in Scotland ya muppet.

Re:

[6Yankee (597075)]

Exactly. The Americans are doing this over there to avoid some pesky inconvenient "shark rights" laws.

*ducks*

I For One...

[pandrijeczko (588093)]

... welcome our new carol-loving, aquatic predatorial overlords.

call PETA

[roman_mir (125474)]

What they are going to do to these poor sharks is torture, like what they do in Guantanamo Bay! Don't be surprised if the sharks fight back and the next story will be about some eaten scientists. Pray that sharks don't decide to take it out on all the humans and start inventing lasers!

Evil and funny!

[mlwmohawk (801821)]

Seriously, I never thought it possible, but the universe has bent in such a way that the extreme insipid evil that are xmax carols inflicted on poor helpless sharks is funny. Really funny. Sad... but really funny!

Maybe we could find the actual sharks who have attacked humans and force them to listen to xmax music, ala "Clockwork Orange" to teach them a lesson. Let them free so that they will tell other sharks about the horrors.

Of course, then we will see sharks beaching themselves like dolphins just to get

Maybe they should test the sharks to see....

[8127972 (73495)]

.... What happens if they get Rickrolled instead.

Perfect use of Grant money

[fataugie (89032)]

Of course, when I think of important scientific research, I think of sharks and music.

BRILLIANT!

(pack of fucking idiots...wasting money for this shit)

Enough already!

[slimjim8094 (941042)]

I've kept quiet about the recent changes. I liked the AJAX a lot, and didn't really mind Idle. Not all of it is bad.

But this really pisses me off samzenpus. Keep this bullshit in idle, this isn't science, this isn't interesting or important, and this isn't slashdot.

Thank you.

Suicidal Sharks

[giafly (926567)]

Mr Brown said nurse sharks and other species of carpet shark which spend most of their time lying on the bed of the tanks, could be the best barometers for the impact of those pop tunes. Their reactions will tell the researchers whether the sharks are enjoying the music or whether it turns them off.

Everyone knows sharks must swim or die and, when the alternative was Christmas pop songs, they've made their choice.

Re:I'm a girl on Slashdot

[MrKevvy (85565)]

re: "Mod me up because I have a vagina and I advertise it through my username!"

Hmmm... "Anonymous Coward". Yes, kind of an obscure reference but, indeed, you are correct there. :^p

Re:Want to know about sharks and x-mas tunes?

[MrKevvy (85565)]

Indeed, for those of us who suffered through the fads of the 1970's, there is a horrid piece of kitsch called "Santa Jaws", a parody of A Visit From Saint Nicholas, brought to you by the same source as the slightly more famous Mr. Jaws [youtube.com].

"Santa Jaws" is so (deservedly) obscure that it doesn't appear on YouTube nor are its lyrics available anywhere except here [blogspot.com] and only from memory, and only due to being unavailable anywhere else.

Yet, it appears to have finally had a purpose after all. :^p

Re:

[carlzum (832868)]

Agreed. And what's the purpose of that image? I'd say it was the most useless image I've seen on a Slashdot article, but that honor goes to the artificial Christmas tree [slashdot.org] on an article about a guy who made a pyramid looking thing out of old hard drives.