Laptops May Be Hazardous to Your Fertility 687
Spy der Mann writes "Researchers find that men who place portable computers on their laps are inadvertently raising the temperature of their scrotums -- and possibly damaging their sperm. Guess laptops should get a namechange soon... before our fertility does."
Doesn't matter to us! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Doesn't matter to us! (Score:2, Funny)
How does a geek warm up for sex? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:How does a geek warm up for sex? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Doesn't matter to us! (Score:2, Insightful)
Those of us who enjoy hot baths or jacuzzi's should have the same problem, as well as those of us who go to the beach in black bathing suits, etc, etc.
Unless one spends a REALLY, REALLY long time with the laptop literally burning their crotch, they will not have a problem.
That area of the body goes through heat/cool variations through a regular lifestyle.
I opine that the only people who would be effected by this "laptop effect", a
Re:Doesn't matter to us! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Laptop == contraceptive (Score:3, Insightful)
That being said, there is nothing wrong with abstinence when you can't get what you want.
Re:Laptop == contraceptive (Score:2)
Didn't say that there was (other than health concerns). I'm banging a fat chick at the moment and I love it. She's a great girl.
That being said, there is nothing wrong with abstinence when you can't get what you want.
Totally agree. Don't stick your dick in it unless you really want it. And for god sakes, be diligent in using contraception. Using a laptop is not enough. Birth control (ie "the pill") is only 98% effective. Use a condom no matter what other co
Re:Laptop == contraceptive (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Laptop == contraceptive (Score:5, Funny)
Not anymore you're not.
Comment removed (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Laptop == contraceptive (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Laptop == contraceptive (Score:3, Insightful)
I would agree with you, if it weren't for the fact that our current society has an unhealthy view of what constitutes being unhealthily fat. It even extends to the medical community in some cases.
If my "fatness" is so unhealthy, then why is it that my doctors always say "you're in perfect health" after my physical? And how come I'm rarely sick, always have more energy than my co-workers and friends, and so on... if being fat is so u
Evolution? (Score:3, Interesting)
It seems you beleave in self controlled darwinism. Making decisions on what you think is the survival of the fittest. How fat a person is a combination of their genetics and their environment. Some enviroments are easier to controll you weight. Others are much more dificult. Why are Rich People usually
Re:Too narrow minded! (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Laptop == contraceptive (Score:4, Insightful)
Carbohydrates are addictive because of the insulin cycle, which goes something like this: You eat carbohydrates and your pancreas produces insulin which is involved in (regulates?) the process of converting carbohydrates to glucose. Glucose is not only the fuel upon which we run, but also the chemical which tells our brain that we are full. Relatively recent studies indicate that over time your brain becomes resistant to glucose and it takes more glucose, thus more carbs to feel full. Note the job of your pancreas, which gets harder as you eat more carbohydrates, especially ready carbs like sugar and white flour - which are nearly the same thing once you have ingested them.
In other words, eating foods with high carbohydrate content is addictive and leads to diabetes. Arguably if you are very athletic you can consume large quantities of carbohydrates but it is always a mistake to consume them all at once. You should spread consumption of carbohydrates out among your day.
It's bad for you. To me that's reason enough to campaign against it. It raises the cost of health care because we all have to pay for the fat ones. Unless you pay for your medical care out of pocket, of course, but we're talking about social services and health insurance here. One or the other of them describe the majority of Americans, certainly. If it were entirely the fault of the fat people that they're fat, then it would be reasonable to penalize them for it, but the fact is that the very kinds of foods which are most unhealthy are the most aggressively marketed.
As I believe I have shown above, it is not a personal choice. It affects all of us, and for that reason I think we should all band together to try to wipe out obesity, provided we can do it without creating worse problems.
As for sin tax on junk food, it makes perfect sense to me. We tax cigarettes to help pay for the financial impact on the nation, and to provide cigarette education. We tax alcohol along the same lines. Why not tax food which has no real nutritional value but which makes you fat which degrades your quality of life and causes you health problems? Tax the living shit out of twinkies, little debbie snack cakes, potato chips, and so on. Obesity is a national health problem, and it needs to be addressed, just like cancer or AIDS. It is a state of unhealth that affects us all, and unless someone consciously chooses to be obese, they should not have to suffer with it. Lying to yourself and telling yourself it's okay to be fat just because someone will still find you attractive if they, too, have little disregard for health, is like not getting a cancer treated because some people might have a melanoma fetish.
On being normal (Score:5, Insightful)
> In fact, why don't you do us all a favor and put that gun in your mouth NOW.
One of the desirable traits of normal people is our tendency to avoid homicidal thoughts and other similar desires that include wishing everyone who disagrees with our opinions dead.
Re:Laptop == contraceptive (Score:5, Insightful)
Don't get me wrong, I understand the stereotypes, but the 80's are over.
Re:Laptop == contraceptive (Score:5, Insightful)
~phil
Re:Laptop == contraceptive (Score:5, Insightful)
Comment removed (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Laptop == contraceptive (Score:3, Insightful)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Doesn't matter to us! (Score:5, Insightful)
Who cares anyway. There are too many people already; fertility rates dropping would be a GREAT thing.
Because it's much better for society if the smart geeks who use laptops become infertile as opposed to the dead-beat Dads who father 20 children while not having the income to support a single one of them nor the skills required for good parenting.
Our problem is that the smart and educated people aren't having enough children.
Wrong! (Score:3, Funny)
No No No, you have it all wrong. The problem is, smart and educated people aren't eating enough poor, dumb babies.
Ther first to say.. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Ther first to say.. (Score:5, Funny)
A warning though, the first time I see a casemod that includes a scrotum reported on slashdot, I will never read it again.
Re:Ther first to say.. (Score:4, Funny)
Without the l in overclockers, the sentence takes on a whole new, very disturbing, meaning; albeit one not entirely inappropriate to a discussion of fertility.
DUH! (Score:4, Informative)
And this is different from (Score:2)
as they all raise the temperature of your nuts.
Re:And this is different from (Score:2, Informative)
Re:And this is different from (Score:2)
Burning Balls (Score:4, Funny)
Genomics, Proteomics... (Score:2)
Distribute free laptops!!! (Score:5, Funny)
A new Slashdot first? (Score:5, Funny)
So is an iron... (Score:3, Informative)
The only thing this article didn't discuss was it good for a woman to use a laptop? Should I encourage my wife to strap a powerbook to her punany?
Re:So is an iron... (Score:5, Funny)
So THAT'S what I'm doing wrong!
I ironed my nipple once -- nothing kinky, I was in a hurry trying to get ready for work. It was an amazing experience for several reasons. One, it was a truly profound kind of pain. I've felt things that hurt worse, but this hurt right down to the soles of my feet.
Two, and I am not kidding here, my nipple was really flat for a long time afterwards. My friends used to ask to see it once in a while so they could marvel and mock.
It also led immediately to one of the more frustrating experiences of my life. I had just burned myself. Like a good little scout, I immediately tried to run cold water on it. I ran over to the sink, turned on the water, and stood there stupidly, thinking, "How the hell am I going to get my nipple under that faucet!" At that point, my wife, who had heard me yelling and cursing, asked what was wrong, and I told her I had burned myself. She called in helpfully, "Run it under cold water."
She really didn't deserve being cursed out like that. I don't know what the experience did to my fertility, but I know what it did to my ability to mate.
Re:So is an iron... (Score:5, Funny)
That's ok (Score:5, Funny)
"I'd like to trade in this 15" powerbook for a 17" please? My urologist says some of my sperm are still alive."
Didn't notice the power book first .... (Score:4, Funny)
That's what I first read ... Then I re-read it again and noticed the powerbook along with the 15" :)
Re:That's ok (Score:5, Funny)
I have decided to begin placing my ThinkPad directly on my scrotum, just to be sure the heat has the desired effect.
Re:That's ok (Score:5, Funny)
Are you stupid? Your wifes cheating on you, dumbass.
Re:That's ok (Score:3, Informative)
It is not uncommon for a vasectomy or a tubal ligation to fail for any number of reasons. Further, it is possible to have either procedure reversed. If you get a vasectomy, you should make sure it took and held for 3-6 months following healing before assuming sterility.
Re:That's ok (Score:4, Funny)
I'm going to assume that there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this phrase, and it's not just that you consider this a good way to spend your Saturday night.
Re:That's ok (Score:3, Funny)
Re:That's ok (Score:3, Informative)
Or, just get my Toshiba Satellite Pro 405CS. Pentium 75, so it's cheap, and it's fucking HOT (I think it's the fact that the HDD is between the keyboard and the battery...)
Re:That's ok (Score:2)
However, if you want decent performance along with sperm-killing ability (not as good as a P4EE or Prescott, though), go for something with an Athlon 64 DTR (the mobile's for pussies - it's not too much hotter than a Pentium M). Basically, it's a desktop A64 without a heatspreader.
Re:That's ok (Score:2)
who puts a laptop in their lap? (Score:2)
I think it's probably just some graduate student trying to get a PHD. I didn't read the article, of course.
Hey, here's some news, taking long, hot baths also kills the "little guys," as does sitting in a hot tub. There's a reason they are on the outside of the body, and it has nothing to do with being able to rub them.
Heard this before... (Score:2, Informative)
They were very adament about us calling the DELL machines given to faculty and students "portables", and never to call them "laptops". They said that the portables got so hot that extended stay on one's lap could cause injury. They didn't want the potential liability due to negligence. You could after all consider
Re:Heard this before... (Score:2)
1) Angle the computer so that the keyboard was in a more comf
Can't this be avoided by simply... (Score:2)
I'm assuming that the problem with laptops is that becuase people keep there legs together while they have the laptop on there lap, their boys have no place to g
Re:Can't this be avoided by simply... (Score:4, Funny)
I salute you on obtaining the same result independent of the linked article! Your simultaneous conclusion is on par with Newton and Leibniz! Gauss and Legendre! Napier and Burgi!
Hail the Slashdot warrior.
labtop (Score:2)
I have always called them labtops, but I am slightly dyslexic.
Laptop's anyway a misnomer... (Score:2)
More recently they are being called "Notebook PCs" or "Portables" ... It's generally used for programming in bed or reading slashdot in the loo (or *other* activities *narf*).
I remember seeing a print ad for a series of laptops which essentially had a guy sitting with a laptop bag on his side and a HOT chick in half-thigh skirt sitting on his lap . The caption just read "Laptops" in big letters and the company logo at the bottom.They've been called "notebooks" for a while (Score:5, Insightful)
On another front, I wonder if we'll see the new Trojan line of laptops soon? I'll take a pass on a lubricated one, though. :)
Re:They've been called "notebooks" for a while (Score:2, Informative)
Re:They've been called "notebooks" for a while (Score:2)
On the other hand, has anyone made any studies into the effects of microwaving your nuts by using your cellphone while it's in your pocket (i.e. with a bluetooth headset or using it for GPRS with your PDA over bluetooth)?
And before that, 'portables'. (Score:2)
The original Mac Portable [apple.com] was almost 16 lbs. It wasn't even a full pound lighter than the same era Mac Plus [apple.com]. (almost all of the weight savings from the CRT was taken by the battery). The PowerBook 100 [apple.com] was about 5lbs, or 1/3 the weight. Even the ultra-light (for the time), PowerBook Duo line weighed in over 4lbs [apple.com].
W
It can't be long (Score:5, Funny)
There is a simple solution (Score:2, Interesting)
MYTH ALERT !!! (Score:5, Interesting)
On this site a few months back ("few" = [3..12]) I read a story about some swedish dudes who found a way to cheaply and without prescription make themselves sterile. Their way? To dunk their testes in water that is over 105F for an hour a day.
this killed their sperm, but the effect IS NOT PERMANENT! You will not permanetly damage anything by doing this. The effect lasts weeks but is not permanent.
If you're into painful male birth control, perhaps this is an option for you.
Guys, putting a laptop on your lap for extended periods of time will only make you temporarily less likely to conceive. It will not prevent you from generating sperm, and it will not last forever.
Painful? (Score:2)
I'd also heard this was a traditional birth control method in parts of Africa. Like many of these things, you'd have to wonder how anyone came up with the idea in a pre-scientific society, but you never know. Contraception is a highly desired thing in many societies, in part because it assists with engaging in undetected "extra-pair copulations" ie. having affairs.
Re:MYTH ALERT !!! (Score:2)
Re:MYTH ALERT !!! (Score:5, Funny)
You might want to be a little more specific in that recommendation. Men who still want to become fathers should probably avoid it. Men whose female partners are post-menopausal, who are chronically celebate, or who are exclusively homosexual might not want to bother, no matter how convenient and affordable. And it's definitely not for women.
Re:MYTH ALERT !!! (Score:2, Funny)
Ok... (Score:2, Insightful)
cell phone brain cancer will get you first (Score:2)
Re:cell phone brain cancer will get you first (Score:2)
Re:cell phone brain cancer will get you first (Score:2)
It's not a bug, it's a feature (Score:3, Insightful)
Off Topic News! (Score:2)
I mean, it's not like anyone here will ever have to worry about their sperm count. Warm 'em up, boys! Warm 'em up!
My theory (Score:3, Interesting)
Imagine: Despite the AIDS epidemic, the African population is still growing astronomically and is predicted to be one-fourth of the world's in 5 decades.
As an African myself, I think this has something to do with the temperature on one's body "down there", where the tool is left to dangle in the air. Men on that continent remain sexually active well into their 80's. My grandfather married again at 82, and Uganda's former president (Binaisa) who is 86 recently married a Japanese - http://pages.globetrotter.net/mleblank/msd/nv-moon -12-09-2004.html [globetrotter.net] May be it's the genes or the food the people eat. It has been said that food on that continent is less contaminated with additives since most farmers are too poor to afford things like that.
If the above theory is correct, it might explain why the population of Africans in general, despite all the hardships continues to grow.
Now, the above are facts so do not mod me down. In my home country, these is [almost] no market for Viagra and the like.
Re:My theory (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:My theory (Score:2)
Laptops are Evil (Score:2)
** slips back into his hottub sipping a margarita **
It's ok baby.. (Score:5, Funny)
I can imagine a conversation now (Score:2)
Originally I called FAKE news release (Score:2)
No hits on the following:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr = &q=%22Moshe+ Wald%22+Iowa&btnG=Search
http://www.google.com/se arch?hl=en&lr=&q=%22Moshe+ Wald%22+fertility&btnG=Search
http://www.google.c om/search?hl=en&lr=&q=Yefim+She nykin&btnG=Search
http://adam.cc.sunysb.edu/acc/d irsearch.cgi?first= &last=Shenykin&status=Any
However, if you take the fact that his name may have been mispelled, you've got this site:
http://www.uhmc.sunysb.edu/u
vnunet gets the scoop (Score:2)
If only laptop included... (Score:2, Funny)
Frog
This is news? (Score:5, Insightful)
20 years ago they told us the kind of underwear you choose (and we can include going commando here as a choice) determines sperm count.
Tight underwear = lower count; loose = higher. They even told us it was because of the heat retention, which adversely affects the count and motility (how "peppy" the little fellas are).
Now, exactly which normal cognitive person needs a study to tell you s hot machine (or a heat lamp for that matter) on your upper legs might do the same thing?
I got it. Lets do a combo study to cross-correlate exactly which kind of underwear and which type of laptop is the absolute worst . Yeah, that's it.
Or maybe we could just figure it out for ourselves. Nah, let's submit it anyway; there's no research grant in using common sense, is there?
Save the Boys (Score:2)
Latin pedantry (Score:2)
Now, now...[bad puns--don't open] (Score:5, Funny)
I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.
(reminds me of a New Yorker cartoon when Satan tells his associates, "Put the punster in with the mime...")
Fertility Sucks (Score:3, Insightful)
So, everytime someone warns me about damaging my ability to reproduce, I go ahead and do it. Tight pants, warm undies, gratuitous and long term use of hottubs at every oppurtunity. Now, I am going back to using my lap as a laptop rest. My Inspiron is one heck of a space heater. My boys will shoot out in coffins dag nabbit!
And invariably, I end up offending someone with my little "I don't want kids" rants. Tell me, why does the world care if I have kids? My doc said no on a vasectomy for a few years, as I am "still young (I'm almost 26), and will likely change my mind." and the possibility of a lawsuite is too great when it turns out to be irreversable.
leave it to this nations great Lawyer population to force me to own many items which can be construed as "Ball Warmers."
They needed a study to figure this out??? (Score:3, Informative)
Your balls need to be somewhat cool to function properly... why the hell else do you think they have to dangle outside of the body in their own little storage pouch-- for ornamental purposes?
~Philly
Pope vs. laptops? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:That's okay ... (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:That's okay ... (Score:2, Insightful)
If you include those that are not married but have significant others of the human kind, that might actually hit something close to (or more than) 50%.
Re:That's okay ... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:That's okay ... (Score:2)
Re:That's okay ...(4) (Score:2)
If we can get about 24 more in this chain we can prove all slashdotters are married with a 95% confidence.
Re:That's okay ... (Score:4, Insightful)
The funny thing to me is that as you get older, the things that would make you unpopular in school, make you ideal marriage material later.....
its just the patience game when it comes to geeks and women.
Re:That's okay ... (Score:2)
Re:That's okay ... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:birth control (Score:2, Funny)
A slashdot t-shirt...
Re:Does it matter? (Score:2)
Re:Business opportunity (Score:2)