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Smart Sofa Recognizes Occupants by Weight

Posted by michael on Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:44 PM
from the chubby-hubby dept.
Toys It's funny. Laugh. Science Technology
I am Kobayashi writes "According to CNN.com scientists at Trinity College in Dublin have created my dream couch. And yes, I admit to being a couch potato... Apparently the couch can be programmed with a personal greeting (it recognizes you by weight), and the scientists hope that it will one day be able to automatically tune to your favorite television programs, order you take out food, and control other household appliances."
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  • Hi, Cindy, want the same as last time? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:45PM (#7040763)
    "Cindy? Who is Cindy? No, honest honey, I have no idea who Cindy is. What's this couch talking about! ?"

  • Recognizing by weight (Score:5, Funny)

    by TWX (665546) on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:45PM (#7040764)
    It won't be able to recognize you by weight if it continues to do absolutely everything for you, like ordering food and changing the channel on the TV without requiring you to get up...

    I wonder if they built an AI into it to intelligently determine who the occupant is by weight gain over time...

    • Re:Recognizing by weight (Score:5, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:50PM (#7040803)
      changing the channel on the TV without requiring you to get up...

      Most people can already do this. They use this amazing invention called a remote control.
    • What would the formula for that be though...?

      x = fast food, y = fat content, z = time unites, p = metabolizm.

      x * y - p * 3.14^z = weight gain

      now, when this couch starts getting serious use it would look something like...

      32 / .65 - .40 * 3.14^1u = much weight

      Now... The metabolizm would possibly go up as well as the fat content go down if u could also order pr0n through the same means... that would be a new varialbe p0...

    • Re:Recognizing by weight (Score:5, Interesting)

      by panaceaa (205396) on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:59PM (#7040863) Homepage Journal
      Also, people's weight changes throughout the day. People eat, go to the bathroom, and also generally weigh more during the evening than average. Is the couch going to have a programmed clock for that?

      If I were a scientist, I'd try to identify people based on their butt prints!

      • butt print... (Score:3, Interesting)

        by TWX (665546)
        Well, as unglamourous as a "butt print" is, it would be interesting to see if one can be identified by how one's pressure applies. Different parts push harder due to shape and posture, so if you happen to sit more on your left hip than on your right it should show...

        Let's just hope that the software doesn't create a visual 3d model of someone's ass as a rendered image. *shudder*

        • Re:butt print... (Score:5, Interesting)

          by panaceaa (205396) on Wednesday September 24 2003, @01:00AM (#7041142) Homepage Journal
          If people can be identified to some degree by weight alone, I'm sure that having a pressure-sensitive map of someone's weight distribution (butt print) could only be more accurate. Also, you can learn something identifiable by how specific people slouch or lie down, how much they lean back, and other behavioral traits like antsiness. Though detecting these traits would be far more complicated than putting a scale under each pillow.

          Maybe the pillows wouldn't detect weight itself, but the shape of the imprentation using lots of small censors that detect motion. That motion could be integrated (calculus) to calculate their current position. The individual data points could be used together to figure out someone's current position, how their weight is distributed, and how much they move around over time. However, are there affordable censors that can do that? Alternatively, are there censors that can somehow know their absolute location rather than using calculus?

  • Great idea (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:45PM (#7040765)
    Science: Pushing the boundaries of sloth, one invention at a time.

    • Re:Great idea (Score:5, Funny)

      by panaceaa (205396) on Wednesday September 24 2003, @12:17AM (#7040959) Homepage Journal
      A bit off-topic, but has anyone noticed that stores always call couches "sofas" and never "couches?" Examples: Ikea [ikea-usa.com], Pottery Barn [potterybarn.com], Restoration Hardware [restorationhardware.com], Crate & Barrel [crateandbarrel.com] and even Walmart [walmart.com]! When recently looking to buy a new couch, I couldn't find a major site that sold "couches."

      I think company's sell "sofas" because "couches" are perceived as things slothy people buy. Lazy people "lounge on the couch" on the weekends. The American culture always uses the word "couch" to describe unmotivated people's television watching habits.

      But in the eyes of marketers, consumers must see sofas as possessions of elegant, worldly people who are out and about. Motivated, outgoing people buy "sofas" to decorate their posh interiors! "No couches for me, sir, I want a sofa!"

  • This particular model... (Score:5, Funny)

    by JasonMaggini (190142) on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:47PM (#7040774)
    ...will be released as the La-Z-Homer 3000.

  • And is it really a good idea to have furniture that can positively ID you?
    • Now I have an extra alibi.

      "Look at my Tivo usage logs - I was watching TV at that time!" and "Check the couch! The couch doesn't lie! But I was lying - on the couch!"

      Why hasn't Law & Order or any other cop show done an episode where a suspect is ruled out because they were watching Tivo at the time of the crime as proven by the logs on the PVR and his intelligent couch. Sheesh.

      In my perfect world you end that episode showing the super smart computer person putting a timer delay on a pronto remote con

  • Intelligent couch? (Score:4, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:47PM (#7040778)
    I, for one, welcome our new sofa overlords.

  • Inaccuracies in weight recognition? (Score:5, Funny)

    by zapp (201236) on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:48PM (#7040783)
    So say I sit down with my backpack on may lap, it gets me wrong. Or if a kid/cat/dog jumps on my lap.

    Or kids jump on the couch and break it.

    Or 2 kids sit next to each other in the space it takes to fit me, and the TV tunes it to my favorite porn station

    or I lose a few pounds and it tunes me in to my wife's favorite shows...

    This sounds pretty crappy to me :)

    • Re:Inaccuracies in weight recognition? (Score:4, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:51PM (#7040808)
      or I lose a few pounds and it tunes me in to my wife's favorite shows...

      Dude, if losing a few founds gets you to your wife's weight then you seriously need to bulk up or you are definitely closing your eyes when you get your nookie at night.

    • Here Goes Clippy (Score:5, Funny)

      by robbyjo (315601) on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:57PM (#7040852) Homepage Journal

      So say I sit down with my backpack on may lap, it gets me wrong.

      Clippy: So, you gain 20 pounds in just 2 days. Would you like to:

      [ ] Enroll as sumo wrestler (you are qualified now)

      [ ] Enroll in Taco Gym

      [ ] Cowboyneal!

      [ ] All of above

    • Re:Inaccuracies in weight recognition? (Score:4, Funny)

      by tessaiga (697968) on Wednesday September 24 2003, @12:10AM (#7040923)
      or I lose a few pounds and it tunes me in to my wife's favorite shows...
      Not to worry, in most households a sofa like this would only last until the first time the wife gained a few pounds and it "recognized" her as you :)

      (Those Garfield comics where Garfield trashes the talking scale don't seem quite so farfetched now ...)

    • Clippy: "It looks as if a cat has just jumped onto your lap. Would you like me to open the catflap?"

  • I hope this part is a joke... (Score:3, Informative)

    by rokzy (687636) on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:48PM (#7040792)
    "order you take out food"

    this kind of automatic buying stuff (like MS .net services) is absolute bullshit and a million times more effort than it's worth.

  • I'm not impressed. (Score:5, Informative)

    by mmoncur (229199) * on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:49PM (#7040800) Homepage
    So... it's an uncomfortable couch with a $10 digital scale built in?

    And they got on CNN? Obviously the rest of us just aren't trying hard enough.

    Real geeks don't want that couch, they want funny-looking ergonomic sofas [bodywave.co.uk] or something with a built-in stereo and drink holder. ...or a couch made of mouse pads [rit.edu].

  • Read the article... (Score:5, Informative)

    by attemptedgoalie (634133) on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:51PM (#7040809)
    Before many of you run amok, and make fun of heavy people, please read the article.

    It's in development, and has plans to be used to assist the elderly and those in hospitals.

    This is not some way to keep people indoors, or track their TV habits, or any of the other conspiracy baloney that will sure to be brought up soon.

    • Before many of you run amok, and make fun of heavy people, please read the article. It's in development, and has plans to be used to assist the elderly and those in hospitals. This is not some way to keep people indoors, or track their TV habits, or any of the other conspiracy baloney that will sure to be brought up soon.

      I wouldn't put too much credibility in these "applications" just yet - I suspect this is what's known in the business world as having a solution, and fishing for a problem. As the pr

    • Re:Read the article... (Score:5, Funny)

      by jolshefsky (560014) on Wednesday September 24 2003, @06:14AM (#7042155) Homepage
      It's in development, and has plans to be used to assist the elderly and those in hospitals.
      Huh huh. You said "ass."

  • I don't get it. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by John_McKee (100458) * on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:51PM (#7040811) Homepage
    OK, am I the only person that doesn't get it? First a side note, it isn't even a sofa, it is more like a old medical exam table, but I digress. Sofa's traditionally are for more than one occupant, so how would it deal with more than one person on it? Furthermore, ignoring the fact that it would be near impossible to get an accurate identity based only on the weight on a sofa, how is it really useful? My sofa knows I'm on it, what does it do for me? It can't really adjust any preferences for devices around me in a manner that is useful, I use my sofa for tons of diffrent uses, having guests over, reading, watching tv, surfing on my laptop, and all of those are would fail to benfit from my sofa knowing that I personally am on it. It just seems like the solution to a problem that doesn't exist.
    • It just seems like the solution to a problem that doesn't exist.

      Perfect. They can sell it on late night infomercials.

      Ron: Are you tired of turning on your own TV?
      Bimbo: Oh, Ron I hate that!
      Ron: How many times has this happened to you? [Actor on screen drops remote under the sofa and fumbles around while showing copious amounts of crack]
      Bimbo: Constantly! That is quality time out of your life that you will never get back!
      Ron: Then you need the Lay-Z-Homer 3000*

      and so on...

      *Borrowed from above.
  • Now the wife isn't the only one to tell you to lose weight.

    Just imagine watching the superbowl, when you pick up a chip. Only to have your couch tell you "Put down the chip chubby."

    • Re:Now the wife isn't the only one to tell you to (Score:5, Funny)

      by Flower (31351) on Wednesday September 24 2003, @12:10AM (#7040920) Homepage
      Or sit down and find out the wife programmed it to say...
      "Get up and take out the trash like you said you were going to THREE DAYS AGO YOU WORTHLESS BUM!!"

      Or..
      "If I find another porno in the DVD player you're not getting any for a month!"

      Or..
      "Honey, I'm sorry but I'm leaving you for Mandingo. I hope you and your couch have a happy life together YOU LAZY SONOFABITCH!!"

      This could be bad. Very bad...

  • ummm (Score:5, Funny)

    by bongobongo (608275) on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:53PM (#7040828)
    i can see potential problems already.

    say i'm sitting on the couch... some loose change falls out of my pocket.... i get up...

    now the couch thinks my leperchaun is sitting there and plays the irish channel all day long. that would be so annoying.
  • from their prototype that required you to place a 12 ounce, specially modified bluetooth tranciever up your ass.

  • "Hey Fatass..." (Score:5, Funny)

    by Fnkmaster (89084) on Tuesday September 23 2003, @11:57PM (#7040845)
    Log off of Slashdot and go down to the gym, then maybe I'll let you sit down and watch some tube.


    Great, just what I need.

  • I've lost so much weight (Score:5, Funny)

    by dtfinch (661405) * on Wednesday September 24 2003, @12:03AM (#7040884) Journal
    Even my furniture says it hardly recognizes me.

  • Fit for the real world? (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Barnoid (263111) on Wednesday September 24 2003, @12:22AM (#7040989)
    My experience is that every member of our family has his dedicated seat and always sits on the same couch even when he/her is alone.

    Those lucky of you who live with your wife/girlfriend and have 'your own' couch, does your partner really use it when you are not there?

    Maybe a simple 'ass present' sensor would be sufficient..

    --
    I'm a-huga bimbo

  • Heh (Score:5, Funny)

    by NanoGator (522640) on Wednesday September 24 2003, @12:26AM (#7041012) Homepage Journal
    "Your honor, I did it because my husband hacked the sofa to say 'whoah, one at a time!' whenever I sat down on it."

    "Judgement in favor of the defendent: Justifiable homicide."

  • Ding Dong! the doorbell rings.. (Score:3, Funny)

    by glassesmonkey (684291) * on Wednesday September 24 2003, @01:03AM (#7041151) Homepage Journal
    ..in from stage left walks the average Joe Husband.

    Cut to frame of just door handle.. hand reaches in from left of frame and turns handle.

    Door opens showing a delivery boy holding a pizza and asking, "Who ordered the large extra-cheese sausage?"

    Cut to close up of husband's face looking puzzled.. then turns to look over shoulder with a stern look of annoyance.

    Cut to full-frame shot of the three-section sofa.

    "COUCH!!!" comes a voice from off screen (ala Hogan's Heroes).. Cue the canned laugher from 80s sitcoms.

  • lets use weight to recognize terrorists too (Score:3, Funny)

    by frovingslosh (582462) on Wednesday September 24 2003, @01:08AM (#7041164)
    and the scientists hope that it will one day be able to automatically tune to your favorite television programs

    Gee, maybe in just thirty or fourty years these scientists will figure out some way to interface their fantastic wonderful invention into an ordinary TV remote control! Even without the clue of using a biometric like weight to try to distinguish people, did anyone else get the feeling these sientists might not be the cream of the crop?

  • There are better ways to identify users... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by WoTG (610710) on Wednesday September 24 2003, @02:15AM (#7041403) Homepage Journal
    Umm... yeah, I think someone has spent too much time watching the Simpsons.

    Seriously, if we want music, lights, and the temperature to respond to who's in the room, aren't we better off with some voice recognition software? You and I have seen it on Star Trek - it looks like fun. =)

    Basic voice recognition would be feasible for this purpose. "Room, this is Joe. You know how I like it." Plus, there won't be nearly as many issues as this uncomfortable sofa will have. How is a sofa with a weight sensor supposed to know what to do when people are holding bags, or have just been to a buffet, or has a friend on the couch with them, or is jumping on the couch, or all of the above?

  • Also converts automatically into casket (Score:3, Funny)

    by LazloToth (623604) on Wednesday September 24 2003, @06:47AM (#7042282)


    Detects extended period of inactivity. Comes complete with 8 liters of embalming fluid.

  • Application: Car seats (Score:4, Insightful)

    by crow (16139) on Wednesday September 24 2003, @11:03AM (#7044733) Homepage Journal
    Where this would be useful is remembering settings for car seats (and mirrors). Cars already do this using different codes on keys, but this might be a better mechanism.

    Still, as other people mentioned, it sounds like a solution in search of a problem.

    • Re:What if... (Score:4, Funny)

      by tessaiga (697968) on Wednesday September 24 2003, @12:28AM (#7041022)
      What if you weight the same weight as someone else who has the couch programmed? It orders you a pizza and has the fridge throw a beer at you also?
      So let's see ... I sit down on the couch, it serves me beer and pizza, and charges it to someone else?

      And this is a problem how, exactly? :)

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